Proverbs 31 Isn’t Just For Women

Great sermon at my church Sunday. We’re doing a series on Living Proverbially, which means, in accordance with what the book of Proverbs teaches. I like the way our pastor and the others who have preached have dealt with the topics. Above all, they have not come across legalistically. They also have not approached Proverbs presumptively, meaning they do not teach that God MUST do X if we but do Y.

This last Sunday, my pastor, Darin McWatters, began by reading chapter 31, which is often considered the description of what a wife is supposed to be like—hence, the idea that the chapter is just for women.

But Pastor Darin pointed out that the chapter is instruction a King Lemuel received from his mom concerning what he should look for in a wife—instruction that he passed on to his son. In truth, the admonition is directed to men about women.

I couldn’t help but think of an article I saw on the internet recently stating that men preferred women who were debt free and did not have tattoos. Well, there you have it, I thought during Sunday’s sermon, those men are looking for the wrong thing. And the women are enabling it! Oh, the article author seemed to be saying, men want this wrong, skewed thing, and that inconsequential thing, so by all means, girls, be sure you give the guys those things! Above all else!

King Lemuel was stepping in and correcting his son, telling him he had to get his eyes off the wrong (or foolish) and the inconsequential.

This attitude of pleasing men by being debt and tattoo free, makes me think of the Pharisees of Jesus’s day. They demanded certain external things too. They weren’t interested in who had a heart for God, who was loving His neighbor, and certainly they were not concerned about who had repented of their sins and received forgiveness.

Guys who are only looking at a statement of debt and what tattoos are showing, are just like those Pharisees.

But what guys are supposed to be looking for are the qualities that all of Proverbs has already featured. In other words, the very things that the first 30 chapters have addressed as part of Solomon’s advice to his son. They can be categorized in three general statements: recognizing one another’s intrinsic value, serving each other sacrificially, expressing our love for one another.

Pastor Darin did an amazing job of showing parallels from chapter 31 with other verses in Proverbs, each falling into one of these three areas.

As he spoke, another thought came to my mind—something I learned years and years ago from a pastor addressing what the Apostle Paul said was his idea and not from Christ. These verses were still in the Bible, still inspired by God, still given to him by the Holy Spirit. And, all Scripture, not some, is profitable to the believer. It will teach us or reprove us or correct us or train us. God will use it in our lives.

So too with Proverbs 31. What if it actually were written just to women? Men could still learn from it, should still learn from it. It’s in the Bible so it falls into the category of all Scripture—inspired, profitable.

But clearly it’s not a “to women” passage: “The words of King Lemuel, the oracle which his mother taught him” (Pro. 31:1).

I like what Pastor Darin did next. He said the passage could be viewed sort of like the satellite image someone can see using Google maps. First you can zoom in and see your house, then take it out to see your block, your city, your state. So, too with this passage. The close up view shows us ourselves, but then we see ourselves in relationship with our family, our church, and the ultimate, as part of the Church, with Christ.

After all, we are His bride, He the bridegroom. We are to speak highly of Him, serve Him sacrificially, express our love to Him. In other words, God’s principles work on every level! They aren’t just good ideas or helpful in marriage. They are truths that should infuse our lives and affect every level of relationship we have.

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2 Comments

  1. I am a Bible School graduate, and I did not catch all of what your pastor taught in last Sunday’s message. This is an excellent approach to Proverbs 31. If I were a youth pastor, I would want to prepare a series based upon Proverbs chapter 31 to teach the young men in the group. Unfortunately what makes us guys eyes pop seldom has anything to do with the honorable attributes of a woman. I would want to try an tame the young lion just a tad so that he would take a step back to look at the character of the young woman within the eyes gaze. It is unrealistic (and your pastor would agree with this) to think that a young buck is going to abandon what makes his heart beat faster completely. Your blog is a good eye-opener for the church because we need to be emphasizing these truths at a very young age so that when the adrenaline kicks in a young man may take a step back to evaluate his direction. A lot can be learned from this and a lot of mistakes avoided.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks so much for adding to this discussion. Yes, this would be something very helpful to teach in a youth group to the young men. Especially because the world bombards all of us with the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes. Nowhere else will we hear the enduring truth, if not from someone instructing us according to God’s word. Blessings on your ministry, wherever God leads.

      Becky

      Liked by 1 person


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